Oh, Motherhood! A note to self.

Today was definitely one of those days where I feel beyond defeated. Motherhood is a hard (but wonderful) road to walk. I knew it would be hard, I knew it would be the biggest challenge of my life, but living it is so much different than the expectation. Today I was the mom that yelled, used unkind words, threatened, and lost my temper. I wanted to walk out the door! Not forever, but for an hour-an hour of peace and quiet. Although no matter what I was to do those beautiful little girls would be in my head. If I went to target-I'd pick up their favorite snack, if I went to the mall-I'd buy them things, If I went to get my nails done-I'd brag about them. I just can't get away from those little buggers! All that said, I wouldn't trade my life for ANYTHING! I love every minute (well...maybe not every) of being a mother! Today was just a day that I felt like I was not me anymore...just "MOMMY" (said repeatedly in whining voices)I think every mom has those days, if they say they don't-I call them out as big fat liars! We are humans, feeling and emotions happen and you don't always have control (especially while preggers, 26 weeks here) Even though I know all moms have these moments, it still sucks, you feel like a guilty filled failure. But here is the redeeming part: those sweet kisses and hugs, and that heart melting "I yub you". I think these are the things that get me through a day like today. It won't always be this hard, I know I'm in the "thick of it" with a 4 year old experiencing the moods of pms, a sensitive toddler, and a new baby coming. I need to remind myself that someday they won't want to cuddle and sit on my lap, someday they won't tell me everything, and someday they'll be in college far away. Motherhood is a gift, a blessing, it's to be cherished. Take a step back and look at it like THAT on days like THIS!